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Yes, It's Love Month... but...

Quote from fashionpulis

:(

At this very moment, I wish my friends were with me. There's something I really want to share with them. Something that I know, only them could make fun of and yet would take it seriously. As a matter of fact, I think they know me better than I know myself.

To 2012

You’ll be here any moment now. People around the world will greet you with great smiles and new hopes, that includes myself. But with this, comes fear. Fear that this year will not make any difference from the last. I don’t want that. I want something new... something that will positively turn my world around. Can you help me? Can you guide me? Can you give me MORE CHANCES and a little luck? I’m not asking for instant presents. If I need to work hard for it, I am most willing to do so. You know me, I work doubly hard for anything that I want... but sometimes, no matter how hard I try, it seems that my best is not enough. Strength, Wisdom and Guidance.... please? Welcome, 2012! Happy New Year, everyone! :)

To 2011

Though it wasn't the best year that I ever had, still, that won't stop me to give thanks and be grateful for everything you have given me. I may have not gotten what I wanted, what I prayed and hoped for but nonetheless, you gave me chances... as a matter of fact, I just realized that those were the perfect things I really needed. With these, you gave me the opportunity to think and decide for myself and eventually.... I learned a lot from those. Lessons that will guide me as I face new challenges and countless blessings in the coming year. Thank you, 2011!

Christmas Thoughts

It' Christmas, I know. Time to be merry and joyful. But no matter what you do to make others and yourself happy.... still there's a spot in your heart that feels lonely and empty. Made by the ones who did and did not remember you. Thank you and good mornight, everyone! :) Once again, have a blessed and meaningful Christmas!

Where Has My Weekend Gone?

The Answer: Work.Work.Work.

And once again... I survived, even if I had to go through a difficult time.  A happy kind of sad, I am.

"What does not destroy me, makes me stronger." 
- Friedrich Nietzsche

distance

here I am... in a familiar place once again... trying my very damn best to emotionally detach myself from someone I have learned to care about... from someone who had given me a million reason to believe that I am still able to find happiness after sorrow....

he might not know it, but I'm hoping he had felt it... we are 7 hours and 6300 miles apart... and yet timezone and distance never stopped me from showing how much he means to me...
 

(with fingers crossed) I hope he feels the same way, too....

I Just Want You To Know...

I miss you so much... I really do... ;-(

To Stand for Something

"as long as I have voiced out what I stand for,
I'm more than fine with it;
the ball is not in my hands,
the hell I care! damn it!" =))

I may sound furiously mad while you are reading this, but I'm not! :) This is just how I burst out my disappointments. I may be pissed off, but not crushed; annoyed but not angry. Life is too short to get mad at someone or something. There are other more important and desirable things to spend my time for. What matters for me now is I never kept quiet when I knew I needed to be heard. I'm not your typical gal who would say 'Yes' when it is a 'No'; who would say 'I can' when in fact 'I cannot'; who would say 'Yes, it's fine by me' when the truth of the matter is, 'Bullshit, it sucks bigtime!' =))

They heard me right, but I know in my heart, they never listened. And just like what my banner proudly shouts:

"...to stand for something, to have made some difference that I lived at all."

Pending

I still have more or less 10 pending entries for this blog that are all locked up in my drafts folder. The oldest will turn a year old this August. All I need is time.....

Everytime

by Janet Jackson


I'm afraid I'm starting to feel
What I said I would not do
The last time really hurt me

I'm scared to fall in love
Afraid to love so fast
'Coz everytime I fall in love
It seems to never last

.........
.........
'Coz every time I see your face
My heart does begin to race everytime...

One half wants me to go
Other half wants me to stay
I just get so all confused

I'm scared to fall in love
Afraid to love so fast
'Coz every time I fall in love
It seems to never last

What Now?

2 cups of rice for dinner, 3 pcs of buffalo wings, 1 fried fish dipped in vinegar with bagoong with a can of ice cold Coke Zero. Seems like there's no tomorrow, huh! This is not my usual dinner or should I say, I am not really taking any dinner at all. But since I'd be on a graveyard shift this Saturday, 1AM-10AM, I need a lot of energy I could get to keep me going.

An hour before my call time, when I was about ready to go, with my make-up on... shutting down my lappy... I got a call from Roselle, my teammate that I don't need to go in the office at 1AM because I got nothing to do anyway. One of the ITOPs is on ML and there's no one to do a four-eye check to.

This is how the Production Weekend goes monthly. As part of the Configuration Team, we need to be at the site doing four-eye checking on Operations. In short, it's a buddy system, ITOPs are doing the actual deployment while us, seating beside them and making sure that all the documented instructions is followed. And now that one of the ITOPs is not around, the schedule suddenly has changed.

So what's the problem? Why am I blogging instead of sleeping at this hour? It's not about the abrupt change of sked because we all got used to it anyway. I'm bothered about...................

all the calories that I took a while ago expecting that they will all get burnt while on GY shift. But now that my call time has changed from 1AM to 8AM, I need to get a sleep.... even if it would mean... I will sleep with all the carbs inside my bulging tummy.... waahhh... :((

for all of you

"guys, I hope and pray that you are all safe there.
Hang on, and hopefully everything will be ok soon."


and for you....


"I hope you and your family are ok...
I pray for your safety and hopefully the weather will be ok soon....."

relieved

what could be more relieving than knowing the truth and finding out that everything was a lie?

Count Check

It's already mid-September and yet this is only my 36th post for this year. Not even half of my total count last year. Hmmmm..... can I surpass my 2008 statistics?

giving

For every IT Show, PC Show, COMEX and SITEX...... I have always wanted to buy something.... PSP, WII, latest television model, iPod, DVD player, etc. but basically not for myself. I wish I had younger siblings... whom I can reward with these things for every good performance in school, for helping our parents in any household chore or simply just for being a responsible individual.

Cry

I cry when I'm extremely glad....

I cry when I'm deeply sad....

I cry when I'm furiously mad...

and I cry when I'm feeling bad.

A Year From Now

Nothing much to say. I just want to mark this date (December 5, 2008) and hopefully exactly a year from now when I turn to this page again, I'll be able to smile and say....

it's finally over.

No, I'm Not

I'm not that kind. I'd rather let you forget me than to be remembered as such. I guess, you just don't know me well.